Published January 26th at 4:19pm - 237 ♥ - 6 min read

An open letter to myself

Hive-109288 Health Work Drugs Alcohol Stress

First and foremost, I wrote this article as if my conscience were speaking to me. I needed to write what I was feeling and I chose to do it in a way that was unusual for me. Please let me know if you like it.

Hello, @bambukah!

This start of the year was very hard for you, And I'd like to do an introspection with you to draw the best possible conclusions.

But above all, just know one thing: I'm proud of you. You're managing to keep doing, despite the difficulties, and you're not giving up. Keep up the good work !

Let's take the time to see what's happened.

Alone and despair

Too much to do

The first thing is that you wanted to do too much. It's humanly impossible to do all these things at the same time:

  • Do the work on the house,
  • Cleaning, laundry, tidying,
  • Work on all your many projects,
  • Take A course to improve your English,
  • Help your beloved ones,
  • Bills and administratives tasks,
  • Physical exercices,
  • And many other small things...

You' have a health condition which makes this completely out of reach. Whether you like it or not, you was born with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and there is nothing you can do for that.

By doing all this at the same time, you came to an intense over-indulgence/burn-out and your body decided to say STOP. You collapsed. Everyone told you: "Stop doing so much". I hope this brutal stop will serve as a lesson to you so that you don't fall into the trap again.

You have to be careful how much you do in a day. if you want to do as much as possible, you have to adapt your environment to make things easier and faster. Is that clear enough ?

And if only that were enough...

The differents interruptions

Painkillers stopped

One of the best and worst decision you could have made: Stop take painkillers. You waited until winter, the worst season for pain.

It's a really good thing you've been exercising for the past few months. At least that's kept the muscle pain at bay. But you forgotten the other aches and pains: joints, bones, nerves...

And now? You trying at best to manage this little world of unpleasant sensations, aches and pains with old-fashioned techniques that aren't nearly as effective as a good medication.

On the bright side, you've succeeded where many fail: you've gone through the process of stopping Morphine, Tramadol and Codeine. It was very difficult but it's behind you.

Thanks to this, you're now able to be more focused and alert. Your brain is less "foggy" and you're getting back into a lot of this you'd forgotten. You can do what you need to finally become the person you want to be.

Discontinuation of alcohol

You don't drink alcohol anymore. You didn't think it would do you so much good, did you? After all, you didn't drink it very often. And yet, you realize that your body is better regulated and less erratic, don't you? Why didn't you do it before.

It was hard to stop. The real question now is whether you're going to stop for good, or leave yourself a few opportunities for a good beer or gin.

To allow yourself a drink now and then, here's a tip: Strengthen your body and your health first. You need to be in tip-top shape if you're going to allow yourself to drink alcohol. It can be destructive, especially with your illness. Wouldn't it be wiser to stop altogether? I'll leave you to think about it.

In any case, you haven't had a drink since January 1st and you can already feel the effects of alcohol going away. That's already excellent, bravo to you!

Tobacco

Last year, you smoked more cigarettes than you predicted. And then, at the beginning of January 2024, the last time you visited your family, you smoked one. It tasted weird. It wasn't pleasant.

Isn't it time to quit completely? Prove to people that you can do it, and you'll be healthier for it. And it'll be one more thing you do to become a better person.


You stopped a lot of things and that was really hard. Don't forget that, at the same time, there were other factors . Let's see it all.

Your Health

Why have you overestimated what your body is capable of? You've been living with your disease for 37 years, and you're still pushing the limits to the point where you have to collapse to rest.

You do a lot of physical exercise and it's great. Not only does it make you stronger and more beautiful, it also takes away the muscle pain. But for God's sake, don't forget the other aches and pains.

You've got brittle joints, elastic skin and organs, fragile nerves and tendons. And sport doesn't take that away! So either you decide to carry on suffering, or you slow down.

It's time you grew up about this. Your genetic condition doesn't allow you to do as much as you'd like. It's up to you to organize yourself better and adapt your environment so that you can do as much as you can without exceeding your limits.

You have the right to breaks. You have the right to rest. You have the right to relax. So now, it's no longer a right but an obligation. If you want your projects to progress and your work to be recognized, I oblige you to take care of yourself.

Positives things

You'd never have thought that getting into overkill would bring you good things. But it does, and let's find out.

Stress

Now you know that stress is dangerous and unnecessary. You've developed a few stratagems to avoid it as much as possible. It's mainly stress that makes you feel pain and addicted to various things. Try to live without it, it can only be good for you.

Thinking

When your body refuses to move, only your brain works. And when you use it in the right way, good things happen.

This reflection is necessary for your evolution. Find what's best for you, and make your life what you want it to be.

Patience

You didn't know how to be patient anymore. I remember a period in your life when people thought you were very patient and thoughtful. It suited you, I thought. You've started to regain your patience with certain things, keep up the good work.

Listening and focusing

You're more rested and have less medication in your blood. You rediscover your cognitive abilities. You can concentrate better. You return to a level of attention that allows you to resume your hobbies (electronics stuff, DIY, coding, etc.).

Physical exercices

You'd started before, but let's face it: it's working wonders for you. Sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself, but you've NEVER been unhappy about going to the gym. And you love the feeling when you leave the gym.

You even socialize there while building a better body. A few years ago, no doctor could have predicted how well you were doing. Just over three years ago, when you arrived in Belgium, you were skeletal. Now your muscles are showing!

It's all positive, so keep it up and you'll have your summer body.

Freedom

Conclusion

Granted, it's been a difficult and painful start to the year. I wish I hadn't had to go through that. But understand that now you're aware of what you mustn't do. What's more, your goals now have a clear path. It's up to you to take it.

You can be proud of yourself. What you've already done and what you plan to do make you a strong person.

Get stronger, build your life and happiness will come to you.


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Comments :

jamerussell :

This is most excellent Bam, sometimes this is what it takes to hit rock bottom so we realize the points that need work. Most people refuse to look at themselves in this light, this is really diving deep into what makes you tick, and you did a very good job of really facing up to a lot of things. The beginning of the year was tough, yes, but looks why. As far as the alcohol goes, I stopped about 15 or 20 years ago, and don't even want any in any form. For a little while I would have a sip of my wife's beer, but she doesn't even mess with it now so we both do not. The smokes: I quit the last day of 2018, and don't miss it. But I have been smoking for a lot longer than you have, and now am facing the penalties (although my situation is caused by other things as well). The sooner you cut those out of your life, the better off you'll fare later. The fact that you knocked out the painkillers is amazing, and extremely beneficial, there are things that you can take like Turmeric; it's an anti-inflammatory, and I take 1300mg daily as a supplement. But you need to have Peperine or a black pepper added to absorb it. Just keep chugging along, like the little train that chugs up the hill saying "I can, I can, I can! You are well on your way!

hive-185924 :

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balikis95 :

You've sent yourself a lovely message to yourself, and it was a beautiful read. Every word hit right home where it should.

Celebrating yourself is one of the realest things to do.

wesphilbin :

@bambukah...


The majority of these things would be an incredible challenge, for anyone. Combine everything that you go through daily... Wow!! You know so many of these things are close to home with me. Maybe not "specifically", but just trying to do things you used to be able to. As long as I have known you... I know you deal with a heavy load, brother., But I also know that you keep on keeping on! You, yourself, said it best...


"You can be proud of yourself. What you've already done and what you plan to do make you a strong person."

I am just glad to see your words man... Remember... #tomorrowisthegoal


Wes... TDPBlinkie-anim.gif

!LUV

palomap3 :

You're doing better than well!! You have many different fronts to take care of and you know yourself. Keep it up, at your own pace, as you need.

I loved the format you have chosen for this catharsis, you have been very generous in sharing it. It is proof of how brave you are.

A big hug. ❤️🤗 !DHEDGE

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ph1102 :

It looks like we have to hit rock bottom to realize what is REALLY important and what's not! We need that kick in the ass to make priorities in our lives! You did it well by writing these things down and objectively looking at your life... That helps a lot!

Now... The only way is UP!!! Wish you all the best!

duke77 :

Une leçon de courage. Rien d'autre à ajouter. !lolz !pgm !pizza

melinda010100 :

That is truly a wonderful love letter to yourself, my friend. And a great example for all of us! ❤️💕❤️

seckorama :

A very serious disease as I read, there is no cure, only pain relief. I think you have done a lot and that you will keep up the pressure. Just keep going. I know you will.👍

wittyzell :

This is such a great and beautiful letter to yourself. So heartfelt. It’s not easy to break down all these thoughts and reflect on it, you’re amazing for doing this. Wish you all the best. I hope things will get better the soonest. And yes, be proud of yourself! You’re doing a very great job! And you’ll surely do more amazing things.

mafalda2018 :

Human beings need to find themselves in order to evaluate themselves and determine their strengths. It also serves to take a pause to calm down and achieve balance and continue again. It does not matter how many times we fall but the capacity we have to get up.
It is true that January has started off very strong and many of us have been thrown around, but we must continue with hope for tomorrow. And step by step with small actions until we achieve our goals. Greetings @bambukah

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swing-trading :

I just came across this, but it's honestly one of the best pieces I've read in the entire time I've been here. This is an amazing amount of self-reflection and self-improvement. You've truly done yourself a major service in your actions and thoughts about how you can make your life better for yourself. It's humbling to read this, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to have done so.

Keep up the great work - and if you sometimes make a mistake in your actions, remember that it's only human to do so. It's all right as long as you recognize the mistake and correct it before it gets out of hand. I tell you this as much as I tell it to myself, as I'm prone to doing the same thing!

Cheers, brother.